Monday morning after the seminar
You have two days of communication seminar behind you. You have learned about models, done role plays and taken plenty of notes. On Monday the first difficult staff appraisal is due, and after ten minutes you notice that it is going exactly the way it always does.
Many leaders know this experience. It is rarely a lack of will. Many communication trainings teach techniques that work in the protected seminar room and disappear again under pressure in everyday leadership.
In this article I show you what communication training for leaders has to deliver if it is to work in practice. You will also find out how to recognise a good programme.
Why many communication trainings fizzle out in everyday life
Three reasons come up again and again in my work:
- Technique without attitude. A questioning technique only works when genuine interest stands behind it. Whoever applies active listening as a method without really listening is quickly seen through.
- Exercises unrelated to your own work. Role plays with invented cases remain abstract. The effect comes when you work on the conversations that actually occupy you.
- No transfer. A single seminar provides an impulse. Without practice, feedback and repetition, the old patterns prevail under pressure.
George Bernard Shaw is credited with saying that the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. This applies to leaders in particular: what you said is still a long way from what your team understood.
What makes communication in leadership work
Good leadership communication is more than rhetoric. Five skills carry particular weight.
- Listening before you answer. Active listening means paraphrasing, mirroring and asking follow-up questions. The other person feels understood and misunderstandings become visible early.
- Leading through questions. Whoever asks, leads. Good questions open up room for thinking and invite your team to develop their own solutions.
- Clarity in difficult conversations. Criticism, conflicts and change call for clear words that respect the person. Nonviolent communication offers a helpful structure of observation, effect and request. You can read how to use conflicts constructively in the article Steering conflicts into constructive channels.
- Feedback that lands. Feedback only works in a culture in which mistakes may be discussed. Psychological safety is the prerequisite.
- Communication during change. In times of upheaval, your team looks for orientation. How you explain change often decides whether people support it.
The three levels of leadership communication
Communication in leadership begins long before the first word to your team. It works on three levels that are closely connected.
The self level. This is about your inner communication. How do you talk to yourself when a conversation goes wrong? Which assumptions do you bring into a conversation? Whoever knows their own patterns reacts more calmly and clearly in difficult moments.
The team level. This is where it is decided whether your team speaks openly or stays silent. How do you deal with disagreement? How do you give feedback? How do you moderate discussions in which different opinions collide? Your way of communicating sets the tone for everyone else.
The organisational level. This is about how information flows through the company. Who learns what, when and from whom? Especially during change, rumours arise wherever official communication comes too late or too vaguely. A well-thought-out communication concept creates clarity here.
A good training works on all three levels. Techniques for the team only work if the self level grows with them.
Why conversations under pressure go differently
The classic communication models, such as Paul Watzlawick’s, explain well why every message has a relationship level in addition to its content. Neuroscience adds an important insight to this picture: our brain assesses another person in fractions of a second, long before we consciously think about arguments.
Under stress this effect intensifies. Whoever feels attacked listens less well, interprets statements more negatively and falls back on well-practised defence patterns. This applies to the other person just as much as to you.
For leaders this means that the most important preparation for a difficult conversation is often their own inner calm. Whoever knows their own stress reactions can notice them during the conversation and consciously counteract them. That is why self-awareness and neurocommunication belong in a good training just as much as conversation techniques.
Three conversations every leader has to master
In everyday leadership there are conversations that keep coming back and have a particularly strong effect. They show whether a training holds up.
- The development conversation. It thrives on good preparation and genuine questions. At its centre is the question of where the other person wants to develop. Looking back on the past year is only the starting point. Whoever listens here gains motivation and loyalty.
- The critical conversation. Many leaders keep putting it off. A clear structure helps. First you describe what you have observed. Then you name the effect and say what you would like. This keeps the conversation factual without it turning cold.
- The conversation about change. New structures, new tasks, new goals: in such moments people need orientation and the chance to voice their concerns. Whoever listens first and explains afterwards achieves more acceptance than with the perfect presentation.
How to recognise good communication training
The choice of courses and seminars for leaders and managers is large. These points help you assess them:
- Work on real cases. You bring in your own conversation situations and practise on them.
- Presence and exchange. Theory can be worked through well online. You practise conducting conversations most effectively in direct exchange with others.
- Several modules. Between the modules you try out what you have learned in everyday life and bring your experience back into the group.
- Self-reflection. A good training works on your attitude and your impact as well as on techniques.
- A recognised qualification. A certificate makes the competence visible, for you and for your company.
For a broader look at leadership training in general, see the article What must executive or leadership training include?
How effective communication training works
Using our Cert. Communication Expert course as an example, I show you how a training can be structured to ensure the transfer into everyday life.
Preparation at your own pace. After registering, you receive access to an online training and a workbook with guidelines. You work through the theory in advance at your own pace. This method is called the flipped classroom: the time together on the course belongs to practice and deepening.
Modules with practice. In the classroom modules in Zurich, you deepen what you have learned in the group. The topics range from leading through questions, active listening, neurocommunication and mindful dialogue to feedback culture, leadership conversations, effective presenting and presence.
Transfer into everyday life. Between the modules, you apply what you have learned in your own conversations. Your experience flows back into the next modules.
Completion with a certificate. At the end of the course, you receive the Cert. Communication Expert certificate.
For HR and people development
If you are responsible for HR or people development and are choosing communication training for leaders, three questions are worth asking:
- What should change in everyday work? Describe specifically how you want to recognise success after six months, for example by shorter conflicts or better staff appraisals.
- Who should take part? Joint training for a leadership team creates a shared language. Individual participation suits personal development.
- How is the transfer supported? Ask how the training continues to work between the modules and what support is available afterwards.
What you can do now
Before you book a training, it is worth taking a brief look at your own communication. Three questions help:
- Which conversation am I currently putting off?
- In which situations do I feel misunderstood?
- What would my team say about how I listen?
Your answers show you where a training should start. If you would like to discuss them with someone, our coaching for leaders will support you.
Frequently asked questions about communication training for leaders
What do you learn in communication training for leaders?
You learn to listen actively, to lead through questions, to handle difficult conversations clearly and to give feedback in a way that lands. Good trainings combine these techniques with self-reflection and work on your own attitude.
How long does communication training for leaders take?
The range extends from a one-day seminar to a course lasting several months. For lasting change, formats with several modules are better suited, because there is time for implementation between the sessions. The Cert. Communication Expert consists of several modules of one to two course days each.
Online or in person: what works better?
Both have their place. Theory can be worked through well online, while conducting conversations is best practised in direct exchange. A combination brings together the advantages of both.
How do I know that a training has reached the team?
You notice it in clearer meetings and in conflicts that are addressed earlier. Employees also contribute their own ideas more often.
Is there a certificate for communication in leadership?
Yes, many courses conclude with a certificate. At Living Sense Executive in Zurich, this is the Cert. Communication Expert.
